Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Friends Along the Way

"No friendship can cross the path of our destiny without leaving some mark on it forever."

Dreams are worth fighting for. Don’t let anyone tell you that they are not. Most importantly, don’t tell yourself that they are not!

However, that does not mean it isn’t important to listen to those around you.

Too often, we lose our dreams to the fog of reality when we listen to others when they tell us that we are crazy to go after our dreams. In the excitement of building a new castle in our mind we often share our enthusiasm with those around us. We let our acquaintances glimpse our plans and they say, “You’re going to do what?!?!” But that’s ok, they’re only acquaintances and we’ve only showed them a glimpse. So we turn to our friends and we give them some of the finer architectural details of our dream castles. They, too respond with the traditional, “You’re crazy!” But, what do they know? They’re not that close to us; our real friends will understand. And so to our best friends—those few people in this world who’s opinion we value more than gold—we bring the unfinished blueprints of our castles.

We take our dream castles and we show them EVERYTHING! We show them everything from the ballrooms to the libraries, the kitchen to the gardens, even the bathrooms. Every nook and cranny! And we wait anxiously as our best friends look over the blueprints and our breaths stop as they slowly open their mouths to speak…

“It’s great and all, but… but how are you going to do this?”

“What?!? Our best friends are suppose to be the ones that support us in everything? How come they are not sharing in our excitement and enthusiasm? What kind of friend are they?”
That’s what I used to think. Whenever I dreamed of a castle and had finally taken the courage to step out the front door, my acquaintances, friends, and best friends always seemed so eager to keep me from going any further. It was (and still is) easy to brush off the opinions of my acquaintances and most of my friends. But my best friends…

It wasn’t until recently that I realized just how much my best friends cared for me. When I show my best friends the blueprints of my dream castles, I expect them to be honest with me. I come to them for advice and trust them to give me a truthful reaction. When all I get back is a, “How do you plan on doing that?” I immediately become defensive.

But that’s not what my best friends are saying at all. My best friends never say, “Don’t go for it.” They never tell me, “That’s impossible for you to do.” What they are saying is this:
“I believe in you. You can do this. But you need to have a how. I care too much about you to let you lose this dream because you couldn’t think it through enough. I care ­so much about you, that I don’t want to see you hurt when you don’t reach it.”

And if that how doesn’t work, if the castle is one that should be lost to the fog, my best friends are there for me too. Too often, I admit, I don’t want to listen to them when they tell me, “Enough is enough. This one’s just not right for you.” But even then, there is great affection in this. Even then, what they are telling me is, “This adventure will kill you. It’s not your path to take.”

And what amazing friends I have for that! I am truly blessed with the friends God has given me. That they care too much about me and care so much about my dreams that they would do this for me!!!

So, I have dream castles. They’re still looming in the haze of reality, but slowly and surely they are materializing once again. Inch-by-inch the fog is yielding and the path unfolding. Moreover, I’ve started down the road…half the battle is already won! And now, I have best friends that I have shared the blueprints with.

The roads keep going this way… that way… and every way… but, for now, thanks in large part to my friends, I’m walking…

Sunday, April 27, 2008

The First Step

"It’s a dangerous business going out your front door…"

Dream castles are so beautiful. There’s no way of denying that. But just how beautiful are they?

It’s easy enough to sit in the comfort of your own house, lying on the couch or sitting in a nice Laz-E-Boy chair, to dream up castles. It’s easy to think to ourselves that these castles are worth so much to us—that our very lives will cease to exist if we can’t somehow make it to those dream castles.

And we lie there… And we sit there…

“That castle is so beautiful, if only I could get there.”

And we lie there… And we sit there…

“Why can’t I make my dreams come true? Why are they so far out of grasp?”

And we lie there… And we sit there…

And as we lie there and sit there our dreams slowly lose their luster. They, like so many other dreams, just fade away. And why?

Because we were too lazy to get up and do something about it! How beautiful are our dreams if we are not even willing to get up out of chairs and set down the road? We can’t even begin to imagine going this way, that way, or every way without first realizing that a dream is worth it. And any dream that really is worth it will move us to action, not just words (for we can all say “Yes! This dream is beautiful enough to pursue!” and still remain at home)!

It is for this reason that actions speak louder than words. It is never enough to think a dream is worth it; it is never enough to say a dream is worth it. It is only enough to act—to believe that a
dream is beautiful enough to take action on it.

Does that mean that we jump straight to action though? Does that mean that we should, at every dream, drop all that we are doing and set out down the road?

No. Not ever dream is worth getting up off the couch for. In fact, most dream really aren’t. But what about the ones that are? What about those dream castles whose path and call to action are irresistible? What about those dream castles that we know we cannot live without? Do we get off the couch, run through the door, and just take off going this way? that way? every way?

No. If a dream is beautiful enough to move us to get off of the couch, then it is beautiful enough for us to carefully think the path through. We have to decide which way to go, we have to decide to set out this way, that way, or every way, but not without thought. It is not enough to act for the sake of acting.

But, we cannot never act. We cannot let the dangers lurking down the path—the obstacles that stand in the way of our goals—keep us from ever acting. There are and always will be witches to ward off and dragons to slay along the way. But that doesn’t mean we don’t ever start down the path. Any dream castle worth walking into the door of has to be worth risking our lives for. But that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t take some time to prepare ourselves for those obstacles. Who knowingly sets out to slay a dragon (and thus win the heart of a princess) without taking along a sword?

That is something that I struggle with when I decide to go after a dream castle. It happens all too often, that when I see a dream castle beautiful enough to fight for, I hesitate too long. I spend too much time sharpening the sword and worrying about the dragon rather than setting out to face the dragon. Too often, I use the obstacles down the road to prevent me from taking on the greatest one: my own front door.

Acting without any plans leads to failure thorough rash action; planning without any actions leads to failure through inaction.

I’ve lost too many dreams because the opportune time had passed when I had final decided on the best plan of action. By then, there was no hope of reaching my dream castle because I had hesitated to long.

So where is the equal balance? How much should we plan out our paths before setting out the front door?

I wish I had the answer. But maybe there is no answer? Maybe, just maybe, part of the journey is learning from this imbalance? Could it be that part of the mystery of the adventure comes from learning how much to prepare for and how much to just accept?

I think so. I think that action without planning is learned along the way. As somethings come up that weren’t planned for, I learn to plan better for the next obstacle. As plans for things begin to fail, I accept that there are somethings that cannot be planned for and just have to be faced.

Either way, I still have to get off the couch and set out the front door. I am slowly learning to be more of a man of action than a man of talk. Actions speak louder than words, and it’s time for me to start shouting!

Bear with me as I gather my courage and open the front door. I take the first step… and now I’m on my way… this way… that way… every way…

Sunday, April 20, 2008

This Way... That Way... Every Way...

“Two roads diverged in a yellow wood…”

All of us, at some point or another, have paused the present to look into our futures. As we let now fade into then and allow our imaginations to take control, we can’t help but dream of beautiful castles in the sky…our hopes.

These hopes begin to materialize out of a mist… a simple wish or an audacious goal, a fleeting passion or an ardent desire. Whatever the motivation to dream, we dream. We dream BIG. And life seems so perfect at those moments.

And then something happens. As we stare at the beautiful castles we build brick-by-brick, hope-by-hope and we realize something. Our mind starts to think, “Castle’s have grand entrance halls! Grand entrance halls with grand front doors! But… doors. Doors, they have paths that lead to them.”

Slowly, our dreams begin to lose their shimmer. We begin to picture the door and the paths leading to them. We begin to question, “Which path leads to my dream castle? There are so many here. Which one gets me there?” Our dream castles stand out so clearly in our minds, but every time we begin to picture that door and the path leading up to it, every time we begin to doubt, they lose more and more sparkle—our dream castles begin to vanish into the mist from which we formed them. And all too soon, our castles are so hidden in fog that it is not even worth pausing the present to dream of them. And, thus, dreams fade…

Why are we so willing to veil our castles in this fog called reality?

It’s at these moments, when the last little glimmer of the tallest tower is final consumed in the swirling mists that I say to myself, “Why can’t I just find that hidden path?”

In front of me are so many paths. All of them must end at doors somewhere along the way. But which one leads to my dream castle? Is it this way? Is it that way? Or, maybe in some obscure way, it’s every way?

I examine the paths for as far as I can see. I take in every aspect, every possible detail. I try to see the door at the end and right as I put my foot to the easiest looking one I remember my castle…

That’s what this blog is about. I want to see my dream castle again. More than that, I want to get to my dream castle. I want to take those last few steps and walk right through that grand door and into that grand entrance hall!

This blog is about that castle and my journey there. It is about asking, “Is it this way? Is it that way? Is it really every way?” I know that the answers won’t always be easy, they’re not suppose to be. That's the adventure we call life. But here’s the thing that I’ve come to realize. My dreams are worth fighting for. They’re worth striving for. And as I begin to answer those questions, hopefully I will begin to get closer and closer to my dream castle, one step at a time…one adventure at a time.

Come along with me if you dare… I hope that somewhere along the way you’ll find your own dream and/or the path leading to your castle’s door. I can only hope.

So, where to from here… This way? That way? Or every way?